


Love by Design

by rumpledspinster



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), ouat
Genre: Android, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Fluffy Moments, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Physical Therapy, Pygmalion, Threat of Rape, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpledspinster/pseuds/rumpledspinster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rumple Gold's android wife must be replaced he goes in search of its creator Belle French and is shocked to find that his android was modeled on the vibrant robotics engineer. They embark on a daring mission and Gold has a realization about what makes a good relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love by Design

**Author's Note:**

> Update: I think I have fixed the display issues and have re entered all of the missing passages. Thank you all for bringing it to my attention and waiting patiently as I worked to fix it. I hope you are all able to enjoy it fully now!  
> P.S. If anyone out there knows how to add pictures to fics here, let me know and I'll add the cover image. 
> 
> Special thanks to MarieQuiteContrarie for editing this work and giving my writing wings. Love you!

Love by Design  
By rumpledspinster

"I'm home Dearie." Rumple set down his keys and took off his coat.  
"I'm in the kitchen, my darling." Gwenevere was elbow deep in soapy water and currently scrubbing away at the dishes in the full sink. 

Rumple walked up to his little Gwen and hugged her from behind, wrapping his arms around her midsection, "Did you miss me today, Gwen?" Rumple whispered in her ear, beginning to kiss her neck.  
"I miss you every minute of every day, my darling," Gwen answered in a chipper tone. 

"Mmmm, I missed you today as well, Dearie." Rumple continued to kiss and nibble at her neck as he reached up with his hands to pull open her blouse. "Oooo, that feels so good, darling. You always make me feel so good."  
Gwen turned toward Rumple and began running her wet hands through his hair. Rumple leaned in and began to kiss her passionately. All of a sudden, Gwen began to twitch and jerk in Rumple's embrace. Her eyes began to spin in opposing directions before finally rolling backward into their sockets. 

"Gwen!" Rumple held her now still and stiff body. Rumple quickly removed Gwen's hard drive and placed it carefully in his pocket. He then carried Gwen to his black Cadillac and drove her to Jefferson's workshop.

"Gold! My dear friend, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Jefferson said, giving a mock bow. 

"Gwen blew a fuse and I need you to repair her." Rumple pushed past Jefferson carrying Gwen like the lifeless mannequin that she had become.

"All right. Lay her on my workbench and I'll see what I can do. Hmmm." Jefferson began to remove Gwen's chest plate and then proceeded to prod around within. "Uh oh." 

"Uh oh! What do you mean, uh oh?" Worry colored Rumple's voice. 

"Well, there is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it... she's totaled." Jefferson patted a stunned Rumple on the shoulder. "But that's not so bad—you just need to buy a new casing and upload the old hard drive. Of course it will have to be a much newer model." 

That shook Rumple out of his stupor. He began to shake Jefferson roughly, "I don't want a new model! I want Gwen!" 

Jefferson's eyes went wide as he tried to think of the words that would explain the situation in a way that wouldn't incite Rumple to throttle him on the spot.

"Gold, I would love to help you but your current casing is trashed, the internal mechanisms are melted and burned out beyond repair, and it would be damn well near impossible to get a new casing of the same model." 

"Nothing is impossible if the price is right, so where can I get a new Gwen?" Gold nearly growled the words as his grip on Jefferson tightened. 

"Gold you have to understand that your model is nearly a decade old—that’s ancient in the electronic world! Honestly you should consider yourself lucky that you got as many years as you did from it! Plus, she was a very limited edition; they made less than a hundred of them on account of the model not being very well received. Hey, at least look at the models that are available now. Maybe one will strike your fancy." 

"Fine." Rumple gritted through his teeth as he released Jefferson. 

Jefferson retrieved a catalogue from a nearby shelf and set it down on a side table. Rumple took a seat at the table and began to thumb through the pages of the catalogue. He was disgusted with the models on display. They were all caricatures of what a woman should look like. Their proportions were unrealistic and their features looked unnatural to Rumple. None of these models could hold a candle to his Gwen. Gwen looked real. She was petite and well proportioned. Her features were beautiful in a girl-next-door way. She had lovely blonde hair and deep blue eyes. 

Rumple decided then that he would settle for nothing less than another Gwen model. "None of these will work. There must be a way to get another Gwen." 

"Tell you what, I'll go get all the information I have on that model and give it to you. Maybe you can track down the original designer and commission a new one." Jefferson headed to a computer in a corner and began typing furiously. After some time, he turned and handed Rumple a stack of papers. "I printed off everything I could find on that model."

"Thanks, Jefferson," Rumple grasped the papers tightly and headed for the door. 

"No problem, Gold. Good luck!" Jefferson shouted with a wave as Rumple got into his car and drove away. 

Chapter 2 

Rumple had spent most of the night looking over the information on Gwen and doing research on the Internet. He then made a call to one of his private investigators. There was nothing left to do now but wait. 

The next day, as Rumple sat in the kitchen of his home sipping a cup of coffee he noticed just how quiet it seemed. 'I miss her so much.' On a morning like this, Gwen would be making breakfast. She always hummed while she cooked. Later she would work in the garden. Gwen found plants fascinating. She had learned all she could about the ones in the garden and seemed to take great pride in caring for them. In the evening she would share something she had learned. Gwen loved documentaries and fact books. She was filled to the brim with facts, but she knew very little of pop culture. Whenever Rumple tried to share a movie, a novel, or music with lyrics with Gwen she would get a glazed look in her eyes—it was as if she couldn't make meaning out of human interactions or emotions. It had bothered Rumple in the beginning, but he soon got used to her 'quirk'. After all, she had brightened his life considerably with her presence alone, so what if she wasn't the best conversationalist? More importantly he could trust Gwen to stay. She would never leave him. 

In the past people he had loved had left; he supposed it was his own doing. Rumple was a self-described 'difficult man to love'. He owned the vast majority of the properties in town, and while he was fair he was also a tough businessman who held people accountable. It was for these reasons that Rumple found himself so terribly lonely. That's why he had decided to buy Gwen in the first place. Rumple had convinced himself that the only way he would ever have a companion who loved him despite his age and bum ankle would be if she were programmed to. 

Suddenly, Rumple was brought back to the present by the ringing of the phone. It was the private investigator. He had successfully located the person who had designed Gwen and planned to fax the information he had dug up immediately. Rumple gathered the faxed papers into a folder and returned to the kitchen. Looking the information over, he discovered that Gwen's creators were Maurice French and Belle French. A married couple perhaps? No. As he read further, the information revealed that it was a father and daughter team. Apparently the father had had a fallout with the robotics company and his employment had been discontinued. Shortly after that, he had died, leaving his daughter with no living relatives. Rumple turned with interest to the fact sheet of information about Miss Belle French. 

Apparently Miss French had fallen on hard times and was currently working as a maid at a small inn in Auborn. 'That's less than a day’s drive from here. Maybe I could convince her to meet me half way...'  
Rumple found the number for the inn and quickly dialed it, asking to speak to Miss Belle French. After a few moments, a woman's voice came over the line with a slight Australian accent. While Rumple explained his predicament, at first she seemed unwilling to help him. However, when he mentioned that money was no object, she abruptly changed her mind and agreed to see him. They settled on meeting at a park that was about mid-way between their two locations tomorrow afternoon. 

That night, Rumple lay alone in bed and stared up at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Tossing and turning, he was unable to sleep. Was it the anticipation of his meeting with Miss French? Perhaps he was still having difficulty dealing with the loss of Gwen? Rumple wasn't sure, but he loathed the unidentified feeling that was weighing on his chest. 

Chapter 3  
Rumple fidgeted nervously on the park bench, checking his watch for the fifteenth time. He was early for his meeting with Miss French, but he preferred that she seek him out rather than him having to approach every woman in the park. He needn't have worried; the park was empty save for the birds in the trees and the odd nut-seeking squirrel. It was a pretty little park with a creek and lots of tree cover. It was autumn and the leaves on the various trees were bathed in warm tones of red, yellow, orange, and brown. There was a gentle, warm breeze and the musical trickle of water from the creek, yet despite the relaxing atmosphere, Rumple couldn't shake his anticipation. Then he saw her. Rumple’s jaw dropped as his anticipation turned to complete shock and awe. The woman before him was an almost perfect replica of Gwen, right down to her vibrant blue eyes. The only difference was that the woman before him had radiant chestnut hair in long ringlet curls, rather than his Gwen’s blonde waves.

As she approached, he wondered if this was what Pygmalion felt when he saw Galatea come to life. As if he was seeing a dream made real, an angel on earth.  
"Are you Mr. Gold?" Belle asked in a slightly trembling tone. 

For a moment he just stared at her and she began to chew her lower lip. A nervous twitch? "Ahh, yes...um...Miss French I presume?" he offered his hand in greeting. She grasped it and shook it gently. He marveled at how small and dainty her hands seemed. "Please, have a seat," he said, gesturing to the space next to him on the bench. 

"Thanks." She straightened her brown tweed skirt and perched next to him, petite and prim. After a moment, Belle sighed and turned toward him. "I'll be frank with you Mr. Gold, it is possible to obtain another Gwenevere model casing for your previous model's hard drive, but it will be very difficult and dangerous." 

Rumple nodded, "As I said before, you may name your price." 

Belle continued, "I would like enough money to bury my father's ashes with my mother and buy a headstone for them both. I would also like enough to pay off the lingering bills and buy a modest home for myself. Is this deal acceptable to you?" 

"It is more than acceptable Miss French." 

"Please, call me Belle." 

"Belle. What a lovely name. Now then, what must be done to get the casing I require?" 

"Well, there were very few of them made. About 50. Half were sold, and as far as I know all of those have since been scrapped and replaced with newer models. The other half were supposed to be disassembled and recycled. However, there are three that should still be in storage in my father's old lab. We will have to go there and then I will be able to program, calibrate, and activate the unit for you." 

"You mentioned that the journey would be dangerous. Where does the danger come in?" Rumple asked.

"My father's old lab is in the abandoned Avonlea Corp. building. The whole city was abandoned years ago when the company was closed and everyone lost their jobs. It wasn't long before the area was taken over by a drug cartel known as the Lost Boys. They used the abandoned homes and buildings as pot houses and meth labs. The old city is in a secluded location deep in a largely forested area. The city will be guarded by the cartel, so we will have to sneak in and back out. The members of the Lost Boys are heartless; I don't even want to think about the things they might do to us if we are caught." She shuddered as she considered the potential trap they could be walking into.

"How will we sneak in?" Rumple furrowed his brow.

"We will travel by car as far as we can and then proceed on foot for about a mile, preferably at night since the darkness will help us to go unnoticed." 

"Very well. I have a man in my employ, a Mr. Dove. He will accompany us. I would like to leave as soon as possible." 

"The safest time for us to attempt this would be on a Friday. Most of the boys will be off the compound living it up in neighboring cities, so there will be less of them for us to worry about. It will take some time to plan and prepare for this, let's say 6 weeks. Will that be acceptable to you?"

Rumple should have been unhappy to hear that it would take so long, but to his surprise it didn't bother him at all. "Very well. However, I would prefer if you stayed with me in my home until then. I would like to know more about the terrain and the compound we will be breaking into. It will be easier to plan if we’re in the same residence." For a moment Rumple was worried she would say no. Why was he so reluctant for her to leave his side? 

"All right. If you will lead the way, I'll follow you in my car," Belle invited. 

"You don't want to stop by your home first?" Rumple was confused. Wouldn’t she need a few things?

"As it happens, I'm homeless at the moment. Everything I own is in my car, so I'm good to go," she explained lightly. 

Rumple felt as if he had been socked in the gut. It physically pained him that this kind creature did not have a home to call her own. Why did he feel so protective of her? Rumple was troubled by his emotions, but he decided he would have time to think them over in the car. He gave her directions to his home and then they set out in their respective vehicles. 

When they arrived at his home, Rumple ushered Belle to a guest room next to his own bedroom and to the guest bathroom. As he helped her bring her things into the house, he felt as if he might cry. Everything she owned fit into two small moving boxes.  
While Belle settled in, Rumple started dinner. After a while, Belle came down and took a seat at the kitchen table, watching him work for a moment "Would you like some help?"

"Sure, I would love some. There's a head of lettuce in the ice box along with some vegetables. Will you make us a salad, please?" 

Belle retrieved the lettuce, a carrot, radishes, cucumber, and tomatoes, washing them carefully in the sink. After a moment she turned to Rumple, "Mr. Gold, where do you keep your knives?" 

"They're in this drawer, and you can call me by my first name. It’s Rumple—Rum for short, if you would rather." Why did he want her to use his first name? He never allowed that level of familiarity with anyone. But there was something about Belle; he wanted her to know him and he wanted to know her. 

"So, Belle, if you don't mind me asking, I was wondering about how you and your father came to work in robotics. How did you come up with the Gwenevere model?" 

"Well, that is a long story,” Belle began, talking as she chopped “My father was an inventor. I suppose I got my love of learning new things from him, but he was all about building things whereas I was more like my mother in the sense that I would much rather read about it. I love books...." 

A look of sadness crossed her face and Rumple wanted nothing more but to hug her and hold her close, but instead he simply listened to the rest of her story. 

"My father's work was commission-based; if an invention was not approved by the board he wouldn't be paid. Well, one day my mother came down with a terrible headache. It turned out that she had brain cancer. Very advanced. Her health deteriorated quickly and she died. My father had been in a bit of a creative slump, and because of that things were tight for us financially. We barely had enough money to bury my mother, much less a headstone or lingering hospital bills.  
In his despair, my father came up with the idea of an android docent for museums that could work all day giving tours continuously, which would be fluent in numerous languages and have an encyclopedic knowledge of every exhibit. He brought his idea to his then-boss, Mr. White, who was thrilled. Father and I worked tirelessly to create a working prototype. He poured his soul into the project; he wanted me to be proud of him, and he wanted to prove that he could take care of me. I still remember the look in his eyes when he told me that he was going to base the droid's looks, mannerisms, voice, and personality on me because he wanted the world to see me the way that he did...as an intelligent, kind, and beautiful woman." 

Tears began to drop from her eyes as she paused in telling her tale. Rumple hurriedly handed her a kitchen towel, which she accepted with quiet thanks. Forcing a deep breath, she continued. "It seemed like things were going to get better for us, but then Mr. White died and the company fell into the hands of his widow—Ms. Regina Mills. She kept her maiden name when she and White married. When she took over everything changed. In the past Avonlea Crp. had specialized in innovations that would help humanity. Regina came along and shifted the focus to war machines and weaponry. My father was unhappy with the change, so he sought out White's daughter and urged her to contest Regina's control in court. Regina must have caught wind of what my father had done because she had her goons drag him to a small dark office that was connected to the boardroom by a two-way mirror and locked him inside. It was the room that her lawyers used to spy on meetings. At first he didn't understand why she would lock him in there, but then the board meeting in the adjoining room began. Regina explained to investors that in addition to weapons, Avonlea Crp. would begin producing androids designed to sexually please. She brought in one of the docents that my father had designed and stripped it naked in front of the investors and allowed them to inspect the merchandise. The droid had been modified to include genitalia. My father said he felt as if he was a witness to a slave auction the way the men leered at his creation, a creation that was a perfect replica of his daughter. And just when he thought he couldn't bear to see any more, that wicked woman brought in a brute of a man and instructed him to "break the droid in." Needless to say that unspeakable things were done to that droid. 

“When the meeting ended, Regina sent my father home. He had a heart attack that night...he died. I went to Regina and asked for the percentage that my father had earned, but she told me that she held all of the patents and that she owed me nothing. I couldn't afford to fight her. The bills and expenses were too much for me...I lost everything. I barely had enough money to have my father cremated." 

Rumple was completely speechless. What a painful story for such a young woman. She’d lost her family, her home, and her livelihood in one heartless act. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know how. Instead they ate their dinner in silence and bid each other goodnight. 

Chapter 4

The next morning, Rumple awakened to the smell of bacon and coffee. Quickly, he showered and dressed and headed downstairs. Reaching the bottom of the steps he drew up short, surprised by the lovely sound of Belle singing.  
Rumple stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and listened. Belle was singing 'Oh My Darling Clementine' as she fried eggs. Belle giggled as she reached the end of the song. Rumple couldn't help but smile; Belle's giggles reminded him of little tinkling bells. It occurred to Rumple that Gwen had never giggled. Why had he never noticed that? Still giggling softly, Belle popped bread into the toaster. Rumple just stood there and stared; Belle and Gwen were so alike the way they moved as they cooked and yet they were completely different. Holding two coffee mugs, Belle turned and headed for the table. Suddenly she looked up and saw Rumple. 

"Rumple!" Belle yelped and jerked to a stop, causing some of the hot coffee to spill on her hand. "Ah!" she yipped as her grip on one of the coffee cups loosened and it clattered to the floor. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I'll clean it up."  
Rumple grabbed a kitchen towel from the counter and began to mop up the spilled coffee. "Belle I've got this. Go run cold water over your hand." Belle smiled gratefully, then she took the dropped mug to the sink and allowed the cool water from the tap to soothe her burned skin. 

After Rumple cleaned up the mess, he retrieved a bag of ice from the freezer and a clean kitchen towel from a drawer. "Let me see your hand." Belle placed her red and slightly sore hand in his. He wrapped the cold bag of ice in the towel and gently draped it over her hand. "Hold that in place with your other hand." 

"Thank you, Rumple. I'm sorry about the mug. It chipped when I dropped it."

"It’s no matter,” he waved a hand, dismissively. “It's just a cup, and besides you wouldn't have dropped it if I hadn't startled you." 

Belle gave Rumple one of her special smiles, the ones where her eyes crinkled at the corners and sparkled like two crystal blue pools in summer. Rumple felt as if he might drown in those pools. It wouldn't be a bad way to go. Strange, Belle's smiles were so warm and layered. It was as if she radiated an inner warmth. Gwen's smiles were beautiful, but flat. There was nothing behind her eyes. The more Rumple considered this, the more one- dimensional Gwen seemed. 

Belle took a seat at the table and Rumple plated their breakfast. "I heard you singing while you were cooking." 

Belle's cheeks bloomed a lovely shade of pink. "I always sing when I cook or do chores. I can try to curb the habit if it bothers you." 

"No. It doesn't bother me, actually it was rather nice. You have a very lovely voice." Now it was Rumple's turn to blush. 

"Thank you." 

"Gwen never sang. She listened to classical music, but never anything with lyrics." 

Rumple was merely speaking out loud, nevertheless Belle answered the unspoken question behind his words. "That makes sense. Her programming was designed to be intuitive, but her emotional cues would be limited to what she could see. A change in heart rate or breathing she would notice, but understanding song lyrics would be beyond her comprehension. I expect she had difficulty with art and theater as well." 

"How did you know?" It had always bothered Rumple that he was never able to have a truly deep conversation with Gwen. She didn't seem to enjoy fiction, theater, art... 

"Well it stands to reason, since those are things that require empathy and imagination to enjoy. Unfortunately empathy and imagination can't be programmed," Belle explained. 

This revelation shocked Rumple. Gwen had always seemed so real. It had never occurred to Rumple that Gwen couldn't truly relate to him. She had never known disappointment, dread, longing... Had all her reactions been preprogrammed responses and nothing more? Rumple remembered the sound of Belle's giggles and the way they had lifted his spirit and he smiled. "You were giggling before I startled you. What was so funny?"

"Oh, I was just laughing at the ridiculousness of the song," she smiled, sipping on her coffee.

"You were singing 'Oh My Darling Clementine', I thought that was a sad song?" Rumple had heard a few bars of the song in the past and it had always sounded depressing to him. 

"That is a common misconception. In actuality the song was meant to be a parody of the very somber and depressing songs of the time. Have you ever heard the whole thing?" 

Rumple shook his head. 

"Well, I suppose if you promise not to make fun of me I could be persuaded to sing it for you," she offered. 

Belle was blushing again, and by the gods it was doing something to his heart strings. “I would never dream of it." He smiled at her reassuringly. 

"Okay. There are a few variations of the song, but the gist is the same. I'll skip the repeated choruses." 

Belle cleared her throat and began to sing in a sweet, pure voice:  
“In a cavern, in a canyon, Excavating for a mine,  
Dwelt a miner forty-niner, and his daughter Clementine.  
Oh my darling, Oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine,  
You are lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry Clementine.  
Light she was and like a fairy, and her shoes were number nine;  
Herring boxes, without topses, Sandals were for Clementine.  
Drove she ducklings to the water, every morning just at nine;  
Hit her foot against a pebble, Fell into the foaming brine.  
Ruby lips above the water, blowing bubbles, soft and fine;  
But Alas! I was no swimmer, so I lost my Clementine.  
In a tavern, in the canyon, drowning his sorrow in some wine,  
sat the miner forty-niner grieving for his Clementine.  
When the miner forty-niner, soon began to fret and pine,  
Thought he oughter join his daughter, now he's with his Clementine.  
In a corner of the churchyard, Where the myrtle boughs entwine,  
Grow the roses in their poses, Fertilized by Clementine.  
In my dreams she still doth haunt me, Robed in garments soaked in brine.  
Though in life I used to hug her, now she's dead, I'll draw the line.  
How I missed her, how I missed her, How I missed my Clementine,  
‘til I kissed her little sister, and forgot my Clementine.  
Now you fellers, there's a moral, to this little tale of mine.  
Artificial respiration, might have saved my Clementine." 

Belle finished her song in a small fit of giggles, and Rumple couldn't help but join her. 

"Wow, I don't think I've ever known another song to be funny, sad, and infuriating at the same time." Rumple chuckled and Belle’s eyes lit up with his enjoyment.

"Right? It's just so ridiculous! On the one hand you have the funny description of Clementine. The author compares her to a fairy, but also states that she wore a size 9 shoe that resembled topless boxes. Then we have the image of her chasing ducks to the water and tripping over a pebble, but then it leads in to a very sad scene of Clementine drowning. 'Ruby lips above the water, blowing bubbles soft and fine.' That line is so descriptive... and the grief of the miner..." Belle grew quiet.  
Rumple reached out to Belle and placed his hand over hers. 

She looked up at him with misty eyes. "My mother used to sing that song sometimes when I was young. I miss her and my papa. There was a time, after I lost them, that I felt like the miner in the song." 

Rumple considered her words. The miner in the song had killed himself out of loneliness. Rumple felt his heart constrict in his chest. Though he hadn't known Belle long, he felt as if he had known her forever, as if she were the missing piece of his heart that he didn't know he was looking for. Just the thought of a world without her caused him pain. She might have died before he met her. He should have been there to comfort and protect her, but how could he? He could now though, and he would. "And now?" 

"Sometimes I get melancholy, and some days I hurt so much that I just want it to stop. I just want to stop, but those days have become fewer and farther between." Belle placed her free hand on top of his, "It's funny, when you listen to the song the miner's suicide seems ridiculous. It's as if his grief isn't valid because it's so opposite of the spectrum compared to her supposed true love's reaction to her death. He has nightmares about her death and seeks comfort in the arms of her sister and she seeks comfort in his. On the surface it seems like a betrayal, but now that I'm really analyzing it I'm not so sure. After all, her sister has just died and her father has taken his own life, and there is no mention of a mother. Can we blame her for craving physical contact and comfort?" Belle looked toward Rumple with a questioning glance. There was something behind her eyes that he couldn't be sure of. Longing? 

Rumple shrugged, "I suppose not. People deal with grief differently. However, I hold firmly to my belief that Clementine's supposed true love is a putz." Belle laughed and Rumple was pleased to be the source of her mirth.

They cleaned up the remnants of breakfast and headed to the den. Belle took a seat next to Rumple on the couch. Rumple took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "If you ever want to talk about your grief... or just want the comfort of another person, I'm here."  
Accepting the invitation, Belle leaned against him with her head on his shoulder, "Thank you. It means a lot to have someone." 

Rumple felt his heart begin to beat faster and cheeks begin to flush in response to Belle's proximity. He felt the overwhelming need to share with Belle. Already she had shared so much of herself, he felt like he was really beginning to know her and he wanted her to know him in return. "I know what it is like to feel grief so deeply that you can't stand the weight of it. To feel as if it is crushing you and that you may never be happy again." 

Belle pressed herself closer to him. He felt her warm weight beside him and smelled her comforting scent of jasmine and bergamot, it gave him courage to speak. "I had a son named Bae. He was my light, my world. He was just a boy when I lost him. He had begged me to take him ice skating on the lake. I had promised, but I kept putting it off. One morning he snuck off to the lake by himself. It was late in the season and the ice had begun to thin, he fell...he fell through the ice. I should've been there. I should have kept my promise." Rumple began to cry, his face in his hands.  
Silently, Belle urged him to lie down with his head in her lap. She held him and ran her fingers through his hair and over his scalp. Her presence calmed him. He had never shared that story with anyone. Speaking his pain out loud made him feel lighter, as if he no longer had to carry his grief alone. Now that they had found each other, they could carry each other's grief. 

That first day they shared their stories with one another. Rumple spoke of how he hadn't gotten to know his mother. He told Belle about his abusive absentee father and the eccentric but kind aunties who had raised him. He described the childhood fears that he had never outgrown and the coping mechanisms he had developed to deal with them. 

They spent the day in each other's arms relishing in the physical affirmation that they were not alone. Walking arm and arm along the marina at sunset, they shared metaphors to describe the scenery. For the first time in so long, Rumple felt truly happy. He had purchased Gwen a few short years after he lost Bae, and while she had lessened the loneliness she hadn't made him 'feel' in all the ways Belle did. It was then that Rumple had an epiphany; Belle was the first real person he had forged a relationship with in years. There was give-and-take with Belle, equal parts listening and sharing. With Gwen it had always been a one-way street. 

Once they returned home, Belle sat Rumple down on the couch and went to fetch some liniment to ease his weak ankle. When she returned she eased his legs into her lap and began to remove his shoes. Rumple began to tense, "Belle, no, I don't want you to see. It's terrible."

"Rumple, I know your leg is hurting you. I could see how much it began to pain you toward the end of our walk. Please let me take care of you." Belle removed his sock and rolled up his pant leg, revealing the gnarled scar that had his ankle firmly in its grasp. He expected her to gasp in horror, but instead she leaned down and began to trail delicate kisses down his scar. The feel of her warm breath on his leg sent shivers of pleasure down his spine. Belle then began to rub the liniment into his sore muscle with a soft cloth and Rumple could feel the pain easing away. 

"Now then, are you going to tell me the story behind it?" Belle waited patiently. 

Watching her open, understanding face, Rumple knew that it was safe to tell her, that she wouldn't hold his past against him. Inhaling a cleansing breath, he began. ” As a young man I wanted to get away from my childhood, become someone else. I joined the army. I was in the ground forces. One day I was under fire and I froze in fear, but the enemy just kept coming and coming. I was shot, my leg was so mangled I was worried I might lose it. Perhaps it would have been better if I had. Perhaps people would have been kinder." 

Belle considered him quietly for a moment. "Well, I for one am very glad that you didn't lose it because it means there is more of you for me to love." Blushing at her words, she quickly changed the subject. “I could use a cup of tea and then let’s turn on the television and find a good movie. It’s been so long since I’ve seen one. What are your favorites?” 

Rumple couldn't help but get a little misty in the eyes at Belle's kindness. He smiled at her and shrugged, "I've always enjoyed silent films." He expected her to make a face at the suggestion, but to his surprise she smiled broadly and replied, "I can't wait to see your favorites."

Chapter 5 

At their first meeting, Belle had mentioned her love of books in passing. Rumple could see by the sparkle in her eye that books were a passion of hers and that knowledge warmed his heart as he had a similar passion for them. Leading her to his large walk-in attic, he excitedly unveiled the library he had created there. Large bookcases created stacks just like the ones in a public library.

"Oh Rumple! This is amazing." Belle bounded across the large room like a frolicking puppy to the window covered in thick curtains. "Do you mind if I open these?" Already, she was pulling a stool toward the wall and climbing on it precariously leaning to reach the high cord. 

"Be careful, Belle," he warned. No sooner had the words left his mouth when her ridiculously high heels slipped out from under her and she was falling. Catching her, he cradled her securely in his arms; it happened so fast that he didn’t even remember moving.  
"Thanks," Belle muttered breathlessly and for a moment Rumple just stared at her pretty pink lips. "No matter. Um...I'll have Dove take the curtains down for you." 

\-----  
Rumple took Belle for a walk at the marina. They sat on a bench overlooking the breakwater stones and watched as the setting sun painted the sky in pink and orange. 

When they arrived home, Rumple led Belle back to the library. She was astonished to see the changes that had taken place while they were away. The room was filled with treasures. There was a gorgeous antique writing desk that Belle was sure had numerous secret drawers to uncover, a plush antique chair, a standing Tiffany lamp with an intricately designed base and a shade depicting a bramble of roses, the pink and red glass pieces casting a warm rosy glow. A large antique couch with plush pillows had been placed against the wall with an antique side table supporting another stained glass lamp, this one depicting a forest in shades of gold and green. As Belle's eyes continued to roam over this reader’s paradise, she gasped at the opposite wall. It now boasted a massive fireplace with a large mantle and intricate wood molding on all sides in a rich, dark shade. It was flanked by two matching plush antique chairs each draped with a chenille throw, one deep red and one deep blue. Between them was a circular dark wood table with an inlaid design of blue cornflowers. Belle was speechless. She had simply expected to see the curtains pulled and perhaps a chair, but this was so much more. 

"Do you like it?” His eyes shone with pleasure at his surprise. “I wanted you to feel comfortable in here; I wanted it to feel like a sanctuary." 

"You succeeded." Belle's voice was no more than an astonished whisper, "How did you get a fireplace up here?” 

“Oh, it's electric. The remote is on the mantle. You can use it for warmth and light, or simply for light. I thought you might appreciate being able to read by firelight." 

Belle spun around, enveloping Rumple in a warm embrace. No one had ever gone out of their way for her like this before. Warmed to the core, Rumple melted into her arms , feeling as if he had been filled with molten happiness. 

"Oh Rumple! This is all so amazing! It's too much." Belle's eyes seemed to twinkle in the dim light. Rumple smiled broadly and shrugged, "Most of the furniture was stuff I already had at the shop and in storage." Belle gave him a special smile and hugged him once more.

In the subsequent days, Rumple shortened his shop's hours in order to spend as much time with Belle as possible. As the weeks wore on the two of them fell into a pleasant and familiar routine. They cooked together, finding that they both knew instinctually how to help each other, almost as if they were the same person. Belle helped him tend the garden. Gwen had been largely in charge of it and in her absence the plants were beginning to suffer. Rumple was enamored with the way that Belle tended to the plants and knew them all by name. 

In the evenings, they would snuggle together on the couch and watch silent films. It was the first time that he had someone to share them with. Someone who understood that sometimes a look is all that is necessary to convey the rawest of emotions.  
It was on their final Thursday night together before their plan to raid the old Avonlea Corp. lab, that Rumple realized that he was developing incredibly strong feelings for Belle. They lay together on a large quilt enjoying the crackling fire, his arm wrapped around her slender waist. In the past he had always had difficulty relating to others, but Belle was so easy to talk to. He wondered if she felt the same way about him. Either way, he was beginning to dread tomorrow. Tomorrow was Friday, the day they were executing their plan to retrieve him a new Gwen. He should have been eager for their plans to come to fruition, so why did it feel like his heart was lodged in his throat? Suddenly, he knew the reason for his discomfort: after tomorrow, he and Belle would go their separate ways. 

Friday morning, Rumple sat at the kitchen table staring unseeing into his cup of coffee. His precious time with Belle was almost up, but maybe it didn’t have to be. Working up the courage to broach the subject, his thoughts were interrupted when Belle placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. 

"Belle, I was thinking...well, my home is so big...I was thinking that, if you wanted to, you could live with me? That is, until you find a home to your liking." Rumple waited anxiously, worried that pride might cause her to refuse. Or maybe she just didn’t feel the same way?

But Belle looked into his eyes with tears brimming in her own, "I would like that very much." 

Belle reached out and placed her hand on his, and Rumple marveled at the way it felt. Belle was warm and soft; Gwen had always been cool to the touch. Suddenly Rumple felt like a child who had caught Santa Claus with his beard off, smoking a cigarette behind the department store. Gwen wasn't real. She was no more than a fantasy. He and Belle would be risking their lives so that he could resurrect a love that wasn't real, a relationship built on lies. He should end this. He should do the brave thing and admit to Belle that this plan was a mistake. But he wasn't brave; there was no way that Belle could love him. He was pathetic and she was perfect. Gwen would never be anything more than a poor copy of Belle, but at least she was something. He was startled out of his depressing musings as Belle grasped his hand and placed it over her heart. Rumple gulped, his eyes growing large as she leaned in and closed her eyes. 

"Rum, these past few weeks have felt like an eternity and at the same time it feels as if all of this is ending much too soon. Dove is on his way and there is something I need to tell you before we leave. I... I’m…...Oh, come on Belle do the brave thing. I'm in love with you." 

Rumple just stared at her in shock. He could feel her heart pounding rapidly against his palm, like the heart of a frightened rabbit. Belle looked at him with tear-filled eyes. Quickly, she began to make excuses, almost tripping over the words. "I know you probably don't feel the same about me; after all I'm nothing special. I'm worthless. But you! You are amazing, you are kind, and wonderful, and it would hurt me too much to lose you, too! So please, stay here. Dove and I can do what must be done without you. That way I know you will be safe." 

What was she saying? Oh god, she loved him! He had a living angel professing her love for him and he was about to risk her life for a hunk of lifeless wires and silicone. Now it was his turn to do the brave thing, call off the deal, profess his love...but even after her confession of love, he couldn't make himself do it. Cowardly as he was, he wouldn't put his heart on the line. Belle deserved better than an old, disliked cripple. Eventually she would come to her senses and move on. He would buy her a house and arrange for her to take over the defunct town library. She would make friends and leave him behind, and she would be right to do so. 

"No need to worry about me,” he assured her. “I can take care of myself. We will do this together as planned." Dropping his hand, Belle nodded her head with a tortured look on her face. Rumple wanted to jump up right then and tell her that he had changed his mind, that he loved her, but before he could open his mouth, Dove came in and announced that it was time to leave. 

Chapter 6

Dove stopped the car just outside of the abandoned city's limits. Since the Avonlea building was only about a mile away, it was decided that Dove would be a lookout and that Belle and Rumple would continue on foot alone. Belle held onto Rumple's hand tightly as they kept to the shadows. Once they made it safely into the Avonlea building, Belle led Rumple through the dilapidated hallways strewn with papers and broken equipment to a lab on the basement floor. 

"This lab has its own backup generator. Let's see if we can get it running." Rumple helped Belle to fill the generator's tank with gasoline they had brought with them, and after some coaxing they were able to get it started.  
As the generator ran, the room filled with an eerie green glow. Belle walked over to a cabinet in the corner of the lab and broke the lock. "Can you help me with this Rum?" 

Rumple rushed to her side and helped her lift a plastic body bag out and on to the ground. Belle swiftly unzipped it and revealed the android within. Flipping the android on to its side, Belle said, "This model is powered by perpetual motion, I just need to wind it. Almost..." 

The android made a sound reminiscent of a modem booting up before opening its eyes. Belle returned the android to its back. "It only has a basic operating system right now. Once you get it home you can load your backup onto it. That will give it all the memories of the previous unit and restore any extra sub routines that may have been added. But since this is an older unit I will have to program it for...sex." Belle blushed and looked away from Rumple to a stain on the ground not far from where they were kneeling. "I'll, um, need you to assist with the programing." 

Rumple could feel his cheeks burning. "But I don't know anything about robotics."

"You don't have to." Belle looked down at the android. "Unit Gwenevere, please stand." 

The android obeyed..  
Belle continued with her orders. "Please lay on this table and initiate programming mode. Prepare to receive physical stimulation. Note the location of the stimuli and acknowledge it with outward signs of sexual pleasure in accordance with visual and verbal cues from the source of the stimulation. Label this new sub routine erogenous zones. Now, present yourself for stimulation." The android laid on the table on its side as if presenting itself for Rumple’s inspection.  
Rumple felt ill. 

Mind whirling with the memories of Belle's story of how Regina had punished her father, he now understood the magnitude of what Regina had done to Maurice. When he looked at Gwen lying nude, prone and helpless on the rough table, he couldn't help but imagine Belle in a similar situation. He had heard the stories of what some depraved people had done to androids, how they had acted out horrific fantasies with them. The idea that something of the like had been done to a simulacrum of Belle, that Belle's face had been the one to show suffering and her voice to scream out in helpless agony made Rumple want to grab Belle and hide her away from the world. He wanted her to forever feel safe and loved. 

"Um, this next part is going to be...well, awkward,” Belle said. “I'm going to need you to stimulate the erogenous zones of the unit while I calibrate its reactions." 

"What?" Rumple looked at Belle as if she had just asked him to have sex in a church in the middle of Sunday service. 

For her part, Belle was flushed, flustered, and biting her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. "Um, just do whatever you would normally do...when you have...when you are...you know." 

Rumple just continued to stare at her, and Belle gave an exasperated sigh, "Run your fingers through her hair." 

Rumple did so and was slightly taken aback when the imitation Belle gave a quiet moan and closed her eyes. 

"Good. Now gently kiss her eyelids, as if coaxing her to keep them shut."

Rumple followed Belle's instructions and the simulacrum gave a happy sigh. 

"Gently cup her cheeks and kiss her. Chaste at first and then more passionately." 

Rumple followed Belle's instructions, but as he kissed the droid he looked at Belle and saw silent tears streaming down her face. What was he doing? 

Rumple stopped and moved around the table toward Belle, hands fluttering uncertainly. 

"I'm sorry Rumple." Belle's voice hitched as she began to cry in earnest. "I'm being silly. It just hurts to watch you and... never mind. Let's continue." Belle wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. 

But Rumple was through with this stupid droid. With a rough groan, Rumple pulled Belle into an embrace. Holding her tightly, tears began to stream down his own face. "Shh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I should never have made you come here. I should have told you, especially after you confessed your love for me, that I love you, too. Oh, Belle! I love you so much! But I was a coward, I was afraid that you would leave me. I was afraid to take a chance at having a love that's real. Everyone real I’ve ever loved has broken my heart.” 

Belle touched her forehead to Rumple's, trying to take in his words. "You love me...but I'm just..."

"You’re wonderful,” he interrupted. “I won’t let you berate yourself again. You’ve brought me to life, Belle. You've brought light into my life. And I promise that if you'll have me, I will do everything in my power to make every moment of the rest of our lives happy." Rumple punctuated his declaration with a passionate kiss that she was only too pleased to reciprocate in earnest. 

Breathing raggedly, Belle broke the kiss, but kept their foreheads touching, "Are you asking me to marry you?" She sounded so hopeful that Rumple couldn’t help but smile at her sweetness. 

"Aye, Belle. Please, please say yes. I don't want to lose you, Belle. Not ever." Tears began to stream down Belle's face again as she tightly wound her arms around Rumple’s neck placing her cheek next to his. 

"Is this a yes?" Rumple asked hesitantly. Her voice hitched in his ear as she uttered between stuttered breaths, "Yes! Forever yes! For always yes! Oh god, yes!" Then she was kissing him frantically as if she would never again get the opportunity.  
Rumple's heart felt as if it might burst. He couldn't remember every being so happy in his life, but then he remembered where they were, "We need to get out of here sweetheart. Let's go home." 

Belle beamed up at him. “I like the sound of a home, especially one shared with you."

Once again, Belle grasped his hand and began to lead them back out the way they came. They were almost out of the building when all of a sudden their path was blocked by three members of the Lost Boys. "Looks like we got some trespassers," one of them announced. The two other boys sneered, one of them adding. "It's not often we get to practice our aim on moving targets."  
The tallest of the bunch pointed his gun at Rumple "Looks like you've got a bum leg, old man. Don't suppose you'll be much of a challenge, but your little slut here looks like a little fox if ever I saw one. Hmm, I bet she's a great lay. Am I right little fox? Are you a good little slut?" The boys laughed cruelly.

"Shut your filthy mouths!" Rumple moved Belle behind him protectively. 

The boys laughed, "Oooo, so scary! We're quaking in are boots aren't we boys? You know what? Maybe we should keep the both of you. Yeah...we'll put you in a cage and let you watch as I tame this little fox." The boy leered at Belle, causing her to shiver. "I expect you'll put up a fight, at first, but after some intensive training I bet you'll make an eager little cock slut." The boys hooted and crowed, never noticing the flash bomb Rumple had managed to sneak out of Belle's backpack. Activating it, Rumple tossed it at the boys, quickly turning to shield Belle. The flash was brilliant, blinding the boys. Rumple and Belle quickly pushed past them and out of the building. They could see Dove in the distance with a gun, ready to lay down cover fire as needed. Rushing toward the car, they heard an angry shriek behind them. There were gunshots, and it seemed to Rumple that the sound of bullets ricocheted everywhere.

After what seemed like an eternity to Rumple, they reached the car and scrambled inside. They had made it! Safe inside the car, Rumple sighed in relief as Belle lay her head on his shoulder. The rough road back to the main highway was bumpy and the car jerked as Dove clipped the wheels on a tree branch, causing Belle to slump into Rumple's lap. Rumple thought nothing of it until she didn't get up. 

"Belle?" he asked hesitantly as he leaned forward, then he saw the bloody remains of her right leg. An inhuman wail came from Rumple's mouth as he grasped at Belle and pulled her into his arms. He positioned her as best as he could, laying her on the bench seat with her wounded leg in his lap. He wrapped his coat around it in his best attempt at a tourniquet. Rumple could feel Belle's hot blood soaking his sleeves and her eyes fluttered open. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a gurgle.  
"Don't try to talk sweetheart. Just stay with me. Please!" Dove began to speed them to the nearest hospital as fast as he could. 

When they finally arrived, Rumple took Belle into his arms. He stumbled and hobbled as fast as he could into emergency, Belle still cradled protectively in his arms. "Belle! Sweetheart please stay with me! I'm so sorry, so sorry! All my fault! This is all my fault! Oh, god!" 

Belle's eyes lolled back in their sockets and her head rolled off of his shoulder. Rumple began to sob and struggled for breath. Easing her head back on his shoulder, he held her tighter. He felt as if she was the only thing tethering him to reality. If he lost her he would cease to exist. He would be dust. 

Soon, Rumple was surrounded by medics who snatched Belle from his arms. Bloody and dazed, Rumple stood in the middle of the Emergency room waiting area. The receptionist led him to the bathroom and gave him a bag to put his clothes in and a pair of scrubs to wear. Changing clothes in a daze, he stared blankly as he washed blood off his arms and hands, the blood leaving a vulgar red spiral as it snaked down the drain. 

Rumple asked the receptionist if there was somewhere private that he could wait for news about Belle's condition and she directed him to the small chapel down the hall that was indeed empty. It was dimly lit with comfortable seats, a couch, lush green plants, and a trickling fountain. At the front of the room there was a pew, a candle display with many flickering votives, and a stained glass window depicting a shepherd carrying a lamb home after saving it from a wolf. The window was backlit, causing colored fragments of red, blue, gold, green, and brown light to fracture and illuminate the room in flickers. Rumple made his way to the pew and collapsed before it. He looked up at the face of the shepherd, "I know that I haven't spoken to you in a long time, and I have no right to ask anything of you, but... oh God! I beg of you, please...please don't take her." Rumple buried his face in his arms atop the pew and sobbed. 

After a time, he was able to raise his face once more to look at the shepherd. "The last time I was in a hospital it was the day they pulled my boy from the lake. He was already gone... afterward people would say things like 'He's safe now, the shepherd has called him home.' It infuriated me because it was as if they were saying that I was a horrible father who didn't deserve my son. But the worst part about it all was the nagging belief that they were right, that in my own way I'm no better than my own father. Where were you all the times my father beat me, yelled at me, made me feel like I was less than nothing, that I was dirt? Why didn't you 'call me home'? I told myself I lived because I was a survivor, but now...now I understand. I'm cursed. Like a plague carrier, I'm left standing in the ashes of those I love. I remember coming home from the hospital that day, walking into his bedroom, and sitting on his bed. It already felt like a mausoleum, as if the house knew. And now... if I lose Belle, if you take her from me... I can't do it again. I can't pack up her things, I can't have her library become another mausoleum in that house. Please...please don't leave me standing in the ashes." 

Once again Rumple began to sob. Collapsing to the ground he pulled his knees to his chest, attempting to fight off the feeling that he was breaking apart from the inside out. After what seemed like an eternity, a doctor came out and notified Rumple that Belle's condition was critical and that she desperately needed a blood transfusion if she was to survive. Rumple immediately volunteered his blood, and silently thanked God when it was a match for Belle. Rumple was allowed in the room while Belle was given his blood, and watching the change in her was nothing short of magical. Her pasty skin returned to a healthier color. As her tone warmed, Rumple felt his heart swell at the thought that his blood was flowing through Belle's veins and keeping her alive. Rumple stayed at Belle's bedside and held her hand. Exhausted, he fell into a reluctant sleep.

Belle opened her eyes to see her hero slumped uncomfortably in the hospital chair, fast asleep. Belle smiled weakly and began to rub gentle circles on the back of Rumple's hand with her thumb. Rumple woke up with a start and blinked at Belle ponderously for a moment before allowing a cautious smile to grace his face. "Am I dreaming?" 

"No, love,” she whispered, her voice rough from disuse. “I'm real." 

The relief of those four words dissolved Rumple into another round of helpless sobbing. Laying his head on her stomach, he wrapped his arms around her waist, thoroughly soaking her hospital gown with his tears.  
Belle gently scratched his scalp and made gentle shushing noises until Rumple was able to calm down. 

"I almost lost you,” he whimpered on a hiccup. “This is all my fault. I'm a monster...the monster who very nearly killed you. Belle, god, how can you still love me after all of this?" 

"Rumple, you're not a monster,” Belle admonished gently, “You are the man I love, the man I chose. Please try to see yourself through my eyes, love. You are my hero. You held my hand and put yourself between me and danger. I'm still here because of you."  
Rumple kissed Belle's head, silently promising himself that he would forever more be her shepherd, watching over her and keeping her safe. 

Chapter 7  
Belle had only come out of surgery four days ago, but the hospital had already decided to discharge her. Rumple wanted to argue with the doctors, but Belle stopped him by saying that she trusted him completely with helping her to finish with her recovery.  
While readying Belle to leave the hospital, he received a call from Dove. At Belle's urging he had submitted the paperwork for them to be married and through Dove's powers of persuasion the papers had already been finalized. On paper they were married. Belle smiled from ear to ear when she heard the news and Rumple couldn't help but kiss her passionately, although he quickly pulled back when her breath began to sound labored. He had to remind himself that his little bride was extremely fragile at the moment.  
Soon it was time for them to leave the hospital. As Rumple and a nurse were wheeling Belle out of the hospital Belle asked that they stop at the chapel to see if the priest she had seen her first night in hospital was there. Crossing into the chapel, Rumple couldn't help but remember that night and the crushing dread he had felt. As luck would have it, the priest in question was in the chapel and greeted them with a happy smile. 

"I'm glad to see that the last rights I performed on you were premature," he said fondly. 

Rumple blanched, but Belle just giggled. "As am I. I was wondering, since you are here, would you be willing to marry us? Our paperwork is all in order, but as I won't be walking unassisted anytime soon, a traditional wedding is a ways off. However, I would like to be married in the eyes of God before..." Belle blushed. 

The priest looked at Rumple then Belle understanding dawning on him, "Oh, I see, yes! Of course I can marry you, my child." 

Belle beamed. "Thank you!" 

Nova, the nurse that had been assisting them with their discharge spoke up, "Wait! You need a bouquet!" She ran off toward the gift shop and was back a few moments later with a lovely bouquet of white roses, purple statice, and brilliant blue thistle. Belle gasped at the sight of the stunning cluster of flowers. "These are lovely! Thank you! Truly!" 

"Well what kind of bride would you be if you didn't follow tradition?” Nova winked audaciously. “Let's see,” she said, digging into her pocket. “This penny is old and I am letting you borrow it.” Kneeling down by Belle’s uninjured leg she slipped the penny inside her shoe, “Your wheel chair is new, and the thistles are blue. And yes, I just made a rhyme. I think you are all set!" She hugged Belle warmly, and as she pulled away Belle could see that there were tears forming in her eyes. “I love weddings,” Nova explained, wiping her eyes.

Shooing Rumple and the priest to the pew at the front of the chapel, Nova returned to Belle and slowly pushed her wheelchair down the aisle. Rumple reached into his pocket and removed a small satchel, he then pulled up a chair and took a seat next to Belle. "As it just so happens, I have a wedding ring set with me." Rumple removed the glistening bands and showed them to Belle.  
“Oh Rumple! They're gorgeous. When did you...?"  
“They're antiques, I had them in the shop. I've had them for some time,” he admitted shyly. “They were just too beautiful to sell. Perhaps I thought that maybe…someday…" He looked up at Belle with eyes full of hope and love.  
The priest gave the marriage rights and with tears in both their eyes they placed a wedding ring on each other's finger and exchanged their first kiss as a married couple. After the ceremony Nurse Nova insisted that they exchange information and upon getting Belle and Rumple's cell phone numbers, promptly sent them a multitude of photos of their wedding from every vantage point imaginable. 

Rumple and Belle were surprised and delighted; they had been so engrossed in each other that neither had noticed that she had taken any photos at all. The three of them then made their way to the parking structure and phoned for Dove to pick them up. In no time at all, Belle and Rumple were in the back seat of Rumple's stately black Cadillac and headed home. Rumple looked down with such a look of love that Belle felt as if her heart might fly away. He held her hand the whole way home. Once they arrived at the pink Victorian, Dove unpacked the car and wheeled Belle up a newly built ramp and onto the porch.  
"You put in a ramp," Belle said in wonderment.  
"I knew you would be needing one. And now dearest..." Rumple walked around to the front of Belle's wheelchair and began to help her on to her unsteady feet.  
"Rumple what are you doing?"  
"I am attempting to carry my bride over the threshold," Rumple said as he lifted her into his arms, a groan escaping his lips.  
"Sweetheart, your ankle!" Belle's voice dripped with concern and the sound of it made Rumple's heart skip a beat. "Don't worry precious, I'm more than capable and have wisely taken pain killers as a preventative measure." Belle held on to him tightly as he carried her carefully over the threshold, down the hall, and laid her on the bed in the downstairs guest room. Belle's face was full of wonder at what he had done to the room. Everywhere she looked were deep red roses and the bed itself had been covered in rose petals. "When did you have time for all of this?"  
"Dove set it up for us. I thought it would be best if we moved downstairs for the time being, until you are stronger."  
"Oh, Rumple! I love you so much!" Belle pulled Rumple in for a passionate kiss and very swiftly began to relieve him of his belt.  
"Belle, are you sure you’re strong enough, sweetheart? I know that you are still in a great deal of pain and I certainly don't want to add to it."  
"I think I can handle it; just be gentle with me."  
Rumple could deny her nothing. "Alright love." 

Rumple helped Belle out of her clothes and then guided her to gently lay back on the bed. He leaned in and coaxed Belle to close her eyes, planting gentle kisses on her eyelids, he then slowly began to make his way to her neck. Kissing her pulse point, he began to suck at the flesh of her shoulder marking her gently with his teeth. Belle gave a happy sigh as Rumple slowly dragged his nose along her collar bone and down her sternum, allowing his warm breath to tickle her skin. He continued down her body until he reached her navel where he planted gentle kisses around the edge. Belle moaned and Rumple smiled to himself before continuing his careful exploration of his wife's body. As he reached her mound he gently began to caress her sides before sliding his hands behind her buttocks. Coming to a rest at the bottom of her cheeks he urged her legs apart. Rumple began to gently lick at her clit and along her slit, savoring how wet his ministrations had made his bride. Belle began to moan in earnest as Rumple intensified his efforts and began to probe her entrance with his tongue while rubbing her clit with his nose. Belle bucked beneath him as he trailed his hands over the front of her legs and began to gently massage her inner thighs moving his hands slowly up to her groin and back down to the back of her knees. Belle screamed out his name in ecstasy and Rumple's heart soared at the sound of it as he felt her orgasm wash over her. He held her gently until her shuddering stopped and her breathing became normal.  
"Oh Rum! That was wonderful, but what about you?" 

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart. Just rest and mend." He kissed her on the head and wasn't surprised to find she had already fallen asleep. Rumple tucked her in and then headed to the bathroom to take care of himself while the memory of Belle's moans and flushed body were still fresh in his mind. He then donned a pair of silk pajama pants and got into bed, gently rolling Belle into his arms. He would not lose her again. Never. He would keep her safe. He would put her first. Rumple fell asleep surrounded by Belle's warmth and scent and the sound of the gentle rise and fall of her chest. 

Chapter 8 

The next day, Rumple brought down Belle's clothes from her old room as well as all of Gwen's clothes. "Uhm, I... well, since you and Gwen are the same size, I thought that maybe you might want some of the clothing I bought for her. If you don't, that's fine."  
Rumple was clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable, but Belle couldn't put her finger on why. She began to sort through the clothing and quickly decided that she would be keeping all of it. Her own clothes were nearly threadbare, while these all looked brand new and were designer labels no less! Rumple had also brought down Gwen's shoes, each one a designer brand and gorgeous. Belle smiled to herself; these shoes would definitely be motivational as she worked toward recovery. Belle finally came to the last box and felt her checks burn bright red at the sight of the contents...lingerie, lacy and delicate; thongs, sheer panties that left nothing to the imagination; thigh high stockings that were so silky and soft Belle imagined they must have been made by magic; and finally the most beautiful negligees she had ever seen, they were soft, smooth, shiny and moved like gentle waves on the ocean. Yes, she would definitely be keeping all the clothes. 

That night as Rumple washed dishes, Belle used the set of crutches the hospital had given her to walk into the bedroom and undress before picking out a white negligee and matching lace panties with a delicate white satin ribbon tied in a bow at the front. At this point Belle was exhausted with the exertion of using the crutches and trying to avoid her leg while dressing. She decided to rest on top of the bed for a few minutes, but she fell asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

After finishing the dishes, Rumple was surprised to find that Belle was no longer in the den. His first impulse was to panic, but he decided he would look for her first and then panic later if necessary. He made his way into the bedroom and his breath was taken away by the vision before him. Belle was lying peacefully asleep atop the bed, the dim light of the bedside table lamp illuminating her and making the silky fabric of her negligee sparkle like sunlight on snow. He remembered how beautiful he had thought it looked on Gwen, but it paled in comparison to the way it looked on Belle. She looked ethereal, like an angel; warm, soft, and perfect. Rumple crossed the room and picked up a quilt from the closet, he then returned to the bed and draped it over Belle's sleeping form. She purred in pleasure at the warmth the sound causing Rumple to smile. He changed into his sleep wear, turned off the lights and lay down under the quilt next to Belle. 

For the next few weeks Rumple spent practically every moment with Belle. Her leg was still heavily bandaged and immobilized, but it wouldn't be long until the bandages would come off and physical therapy would begin. In the meantime, he saw to her every need and took her on the sunset walks that she loved, always ready with the wheelchair in case Belle tired or the soreness began to bother her. 

Finally, the day came when the bandages would come off. To Rumple it was a milestone on the way to Belle being healed and he looked forward to it. With the help of Dove, Belle was put in the car and her wheelchair stowed away along with her crutches. Dove drove them to the local orthopedic physician. The office was not busy and they were quickly shown to a room. With a little help, Belle was laid on the exam table and the doctor began to cut away the bandages. 

"Your records show that the bone was shattered by multiple gunshots, the reconstruction was quite intensive and I must warn you that scarring is going to be inevitable, but hopefully it will be discreet," the doctor explained.

Finally, the bandages were removed and Belle's leg was revealed. The surgeons had had to cut considerable incisions in order to remove the bullets and replace the bone fragments. Belle's leg had been sewn shut with thick black thread revealing the track of a scar resembling a large barren tree. The doctor sighed. "Well, it's a good thing that it is cold most of the year here. You should be able to hide the scar beneath dark tights." 

Rumple put his left arm around Belle and held her hand. He kissed the side of her head and whispered in her ear, "more for me to love." 

Belle smiled and turned her head, allowing Rumple to kiss her on the lips. The doctor brought out a tray with small scissors, a scalpel, and tweezers. 

"Okay, here comes the unpleasant part. This shouldn't be painful, but it will be uncomfortable." Rumple did not like the sound of that and had to fight the urge to shield Belle with his body; after all, the stitches couldn't stay in forever.  
The doctor began to cut and pull the stitches out one by one at an agonizingly slow pace. Belle closed her eyes and pressed her face into Rumple's chest. Her grasp on his hand began to tighten painfully, but Rumple simply held on to her. Finally, they were all out, physical therapy appointments were scheduled, and Rumple was able to take Belle home. 

"Now that the stitches are off I can finally take a proper bath and I would love it if you would take it with me." Belle looked back at her husband questioningly, but he was already pushing them toward the bathroom.  
He filled the tub with warm, lightly scented water and lit some scented candles. He helped Belle undress before undressing himself, then helped her into the tub. Rumple bathed Belle from head to toe, and between the soft touches, warm water, and dim candlelight Belle fell into a comfortable sleep in her husband's arms. Rumple continued to hold Belle close until the water began to cool. He gazed down at her scar, still puffy and red, and felt as if there was a tight metal band around his chest. Her scar was like a mirror image of his own, both of them visible reminders of his cowardice. His cowardice had put her in danger. The memory of that day was still so fresh in his mind that when he had nightmares about it he would awake with the memory of the smell of gunpowder and the way Belle looked and felt, limp and lifeless in his arms. 

Chapter 9

Rumple hated Belle's physical therapy sessions even more than she did, which was saying something. The first few had been extremely difficult for Belle, as well as difficult for Rumple to watch. Her legs had atrophied quite a bit and it took a lot of effort for Belle to do the exercises, which left her exhausted and sore. Every session ended with Belle collapsing on the bed as soon as they got home and sleeping until dinner. But by far the worst part of these sessions was the end when Belle had to endure cryotherapy and neuromuscular electrical stimulation. Rumple had nearly strangled the therapist the first time he had administered it, but now it had simply become part of the routine. Nevertheless, every moan, every tear, every squeeze of his hand was a reminder; it was as if the universe were repeatedly telling him, 'You did this, you monster'.

Belle absolutely hated the cryotherapy and n.e.s. The pain was nearly unbearable, the ice cryotherapy left her feeling frostbitten, and the n.e.s felt as if she were being stabbed repeatedly by red hot needles. She had desperately tried to hide her pain from Rumple, but it was no use. She worried about him; he was anxious all the time now and he looked... panicked, as if something terrible might happen at any moment.  
Belle was thrilled when she was finally able to return to the upstairs bedrooms. Of course, she still had to take it one stair at a time and it took her forever, but she finally felt like they could create a daily routine that didn't involve Rumple being on edge 100% of the time. She had been successful in convincing Rumple to return to his shop, at least until lunch time (not that he didn't spend the time texting to see if she was okay every 10 minutes). Now Belle set her mind to making the master bedroom truly theirs. For a moment Belle simply looked around in the room; it looked disused and musty, but still as she remembered it from when she had first come to the house. Those days seemed so long ago now.

Belle was brought to the present by the sound of the door. It was Dove; she had called him to help her out with the redecorating. Together they aired out the room, changed the curtains and bed sheets, added a plush bench to the end of the bed, and put new towels in the bathroom. Dove was then kind enough to put together a makeup desk with a lighted magnifying mirror and soft bench seat and a standing jewelry armoire. Dove brought up all of the clothes and shoes and helped Belle organize the closet.  
As a final touch, Belle decorated their shared room and bathroom with flowers like the ones that had been in her bridal bouquet and scented candles. Now the room that had once been dark brown and deep red was dark brown with airy touches of tan, cream, and white. 

Done with the bedroom, Dove and Belle began with Christmas decorating. Christmas was still six weeks away, but as this was their first one together, Belle wanted to get everything set up early enough for them to shop for ornaments together and enjoy the tree. Dove had arranged for a company who specialized in Christmas decorating to come and give the house a once-over. They came with a team of six men and the speed at which they worked amazed Belle. In no time at all they had put up a beautiful pre-lit artificial tree in the front room and a smaller one in the library. They hung these amazing things that looked like green icicles on both trees and to Belle's enthusiastic wonderment the house began to smell like an evergreen forest. They decorated the mantles with garland, and then decorated it all with deep red and brilliant gold bulbs and red ribbon with gold trim. For the finishing touch a sparkling gold star was then placed on the top of both trees. 

That afternoon was just as Belle had pictured it. She met Rumple at the door in a dark red boat neck dress with a matching wool jacket and a picnic basket full of tasty treats. He kissed her passionately, as if he hadn't seen her in years rather than just mere hours and together they headed to the car. They drove out to the woods and walked a short way to a lovely glade, laid out a blanket, and enjoyed their late lunch. All the way home Belle smiled—she couldn't wait for Rumple to see the house.  
As they entered their home, the smell of evergreen and homemade spinach lasagna embraced them in a heavenly, scented hug. Belle had wisely prepared dinner herself early this morning and Dove had removed it from the oven to cool. When Rumple saw the tree and garland he stood frozen and speechless for a time, he had forgotten that Christmas was coming up. He hadn't celebrated it since before Bae... 

Belle began to worry that Rumple was displeased when all of a sudden he turned and embraced her, burrowing his face into her hair. He didn't speak, he simply held her and she held him back.  
Finally, she broke the silence. "I made dinner and afterward I want to show you what I've done upstairs." Rumple walked Belle into the kitchen, his arm still protectively around her waist before pulling a chair out for her. At her direction he removed a Caesar salad from the fridge and a bottle of red wine. He filled their glasses as she served their plates. They ate in companionable quiet. 

When the meal was done and Belle moved to clear the table, Rumple finally spoke, "I had forgotten about Christmas coming up, I haven't celebrated since..."  
Understanding immediately dawned on Belle. "Oh, Rumple! I didn't even think... I'm sorry! I should have asked you!" 

Rumple waved his hands in attempt to stop Belle's spiral of guilt, "Sweetheart! It's beautiful, I love what you've done, it's time... plus there wasn't really a point when it was just me, but now I have you."  
Misty eyed, Belle smiled. "I understand; after I lost dad I didn't have anyone else. I still celebrated because my mother had loved Christmas, but it was difficult trying to be merry and hopeful while being alone. I worried that I would never have the opportunity to celebrate the holidays with family ever again, but now here I am with family who loves me." 

At those words, Rumple embraced Belle and kissed her gently, "A family..." he whispered as he broke the kiss. 

Belle led Rumple upstairs a step at a time showing him the library first. "I thought this way we could relax together at night with a tree and firelight and if we get sleepy, our room is just down the hall." 

Rumple stared in wonder at the warm, festive environment that had been created, but his attention returned to Belle at the words 'our room'. "Our room?" he asked as a smile crept across his face. 

"Mmmhmm," Belle bit her lip in a playful grin as she led Rumple down the hall. Rumple followed Belle into the room and marveled at the changes. "How did you have time for all of this?"

"I had help. Before you worry, Dove did all the heavy lifting." 

"Is that so? Well I'll have to give him a little something extra for Christmas then, won’t I?" Rumple pulled Belle into a hug. "It looks completely different, and I love it. I love that it is a mix of you and me, that it looks and feels like you live in this space, and I especially love seeing our clothes hanging side by side."

"Do you now?" Belle asked in her best attempt at a sultry voice, "Do you know what I'd like to be side by side?" 

"Hmm, it wouldn't happen to be you and I in bed together, would it?" 

Belle feigned surprise. "You never told me you were psychic?" 

Laughing, Rumple began to undress his lovely wife and then himself. 

They climbed into bed and made love to each other until exhausted, falling asleep in each other's arms. That was his favorite thing in the world. Gwen never slept, at least not in the traditional sense. She could enter hibernation mode, a low power mode in which her body went stiff as a board (not very comfortable to cuddle). Belle, on the other hand, was so warm and she smelled so good. Rumple loved the way her chest rose and fell, the little sounds she would make, and especially the way she would curl up against him in the middle of the night. The times he had spent sleeping next to Belle were the most restful sleeps he had had in years, but even her presence wasn't enough to keep the nightmares at bay. Before Belle, nightmares were a regular occurrence for Rumple. They always involved Bae, the most common one involving Rumple calling out to Bae urging him to come back to the shore only to have the ice crack and splinter and Bae to disappear beneath the dark icy water. 

After he and Belle married, his nightmares became centered on her. Sometimes they were simply memories of their escape, full of gunshots and blood. Occasionally he would have a nightmare in which he found himself back in the abandoned building. In his dream state, he knew he needed to go to the lab because Belle would be there, but as he entered the room and the scene unfolded he would see Belle lying glassy eyed and bloody on a low table under flickering green lights and Gwen standing next to her with a smile on her face and blood on her hands. 

"Gwen! What have you done?!" Rumple would rush forward, stumbling to a kneeling position next to Belle.

"I took her heart. Now I can love you for real, just like you've always wanted." Rumple hated that dream. He was used to waking up in a cold sweat, but that particular nightmare made him ill. But tonight's nightmare had been different and particularly upsetting. Rumple found himself on the path to the lake. It was winter, there was a cold breeze, and snow was beginning to fall lightly. Rumple began to make his way to the lake, and as he walked he began to realize that he must be dreaming. The dream was so similar to the ones he had frequently had about Bae, but those had always taken place with the sunshine of daybreak peeking through the trees; however, as he surveyed this dream scape he saw that it was the middle of the night and a bright full moon shone down from the center of the sky. He became even more confused when he reached the frozen pond and there was no one there, but then he heard a muffled pounding coming from the lake. He approached the edge and leaned down on the shore, brushing some of the snow and ice off of the lake's surface, he peered down and gasped in horror when he saw Belle under the ice. She was pounding on the ice, bubbles pouring from her mouth. Rumple immediately began to pound, scratch, and dig at the ice in a desperate attempt to free her; but to his dismay she stopped fighting, mouthed 'I love you' and began to sink to the bottom of the dark lake. Rumple screamed, "NO!” and sprang up in bed. Belle jolted awake and instinctively clung to Rumple. At her touch he seemed to realize that he was now awake. Rumple carefully rolled on to Belle shielding her with his body and kissing her urgently on her neck and chest.

Belle knew of her husband's nightmares, but this one had truly frightened him to his core, "Sweetheart, it's all right. We're safe. We're together. Talk to me, love, what was your nightmare about? Let me help you put it in perspective." Rumple lay back down next to Belle and lay his head on her chest. He told her his nightmare in detail as Belle gently scratched his scalp. "What do you think it means?" 

Belle considered, "Well, you have a fear of losing those you love, which is something we both suffer from. I have no doubt that if we work together and are honest about our fears we can deal with anything that comes our way. The frozen lake though... at first I thought it was just symbolic of your loss of Bae, but now I think that it represents a fear of being powerless. Sweetheart, I've noticed that you get anxious quite a bit and I've seen you struggling to breathe... I think we should make an appointment for the both of us to see a therapist." 

Rumple knew that Belle was right, they couldn't continue living this way. He couldn't spend every moment worrying about Belle rather than enjoying his time with her, and he couldn't continue to deprive them both of consistent sleep. "You’re right, sweetheart, I'll call in the morning." 

Dr. Hopper, the local therapist, was able to squeeze them in for an appointment that next afternoon. He suggested regular sessions for them, which they agreed to. After a few visits Dr. Hopper explained that Rumple appeared to be suffering from panic disorder as well as generalized anxiety. He prescribed medication to help with the condition. At first Rumple was extremely resistant (he wanted to be able to deal with his problems on his own and accepting medication was like admitting that he was not normal), but Belle soothed his fears. 

"There is no shame in needing help,” she chided gently “If I were in pain, wouldn't you fetch me pain killers? Or would you allow me to stubbornly stay in pain?" 

Rumple hung his head; she was right. He owed it to her and to himself to try to regain some stability and normalcy. "You're right sweetheart." 

But even with the medication he still struggled greatly. He wanted nothing more than to lock both him and Belle in their home and never again leave it. Belle made it easier, though. She went with him to his therapy sessions and was endlessly patient with his countless texts during the day (which he now recognized that he was using as a coping mechanism, but Belle told him that if it helped him to go back to work at the shop then she was all for it). She even went a step further and loaded an app on his phone so that he could see where she was any time in the hopes that if he could reassure himself that she was indeed where he thought she was he would not be as likely to let his panic overwhelm him. Most importantly, she never looked at him with pity. Her eyes always reflected gentle understanding. It was all helping greatly. As the weeks passed he could feel some of the weight falling away from his chest. Belle was doing so much better now, which allowed him to worry after her a little less, but he couldn’t keep all his concerns at bay. She was very prone to overdoing things and resisting the need to take pain medication until the pain was too much. 

But together with each other’s support and love they were both on the road to healing.

Chapter 10 

One evening, Rumple was surprised to see Jefferson's car out front as he arrived home from work. He hadn't seen him in weeks, and he wasn't exactly happy about him being here. Weeks ago Jefferson had finagled his way into a dinner invitation, a dinner during which he had chatted to Belle nearly non-stop about her background in robotics and gushed about how knowledgeable she was. Rumple was glad that there was someone else who saw how amazingly wonderful Belle is, but he didn't like how their talking had made him feel; like a third wheel, an outsider. He just couldn't relate to their technobabble. 

As Rumple stepped on to the porch he was greeted by a warm hug from Belle and a wave from Jefferson. "Jefferson was just helping me set up an early Christmas present for you." Belle was wearing one of her special smiles that she reserved just for him and Rumple couldn't help but begin to relax. God, he loved the way the corners of her eyes crinkled, and how her eyes sparkled!

Jefferson passed them and headed back to his car. "It was nice spending time with you, Belle! See you both for Christmas lunch!" With that said, he drove away. 

"Christmas lunch?" Rumple asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Belle bit her lip in the most adorable way before answering. "Well, he said he didn't have any plans and I thought the more the merrier right? You two are close, at least as close as either of you get, which practically makes you family, brothers even! And it's only lunch; we'll still get to sleep in and have Christmas dinner all to ourselves." 

Rumple silenced her needless explaining with a kiss. 

When the kiss ended Belle whispered, "So... you aren't upset?" 

Rumple chuckled at that, "No, sweetheart, I'm not upset."

"Fantastic! Now come in the house so I can show you your early present." Belle pulled Rumple into the house and showed him a control panel, "Jefferson helped me make the house 'smart'. From now on if someone is at the door you can see who it is with the touch of a button, no door opening required. You can even talk to them through the speaker if you like. We set up cameras to show the foyer and front room, the kitchen, the garden, the library, the laundry room, and the hallways; all of which you can bring up on your phone. You can even change the thermostat temperature remotely." 

Belle hugged Rumple around the neck and sighed, "I want you to feel safe Rum, I want to help you let go of your worries, at least the heaviest ones." 

Rumple held her tightly, "You have helped, sweetheart. I'm so much better now that I have you in my life. It had been so long since I truly loved someone and had them love me in return that I guess I sort of forgot how, but I'm relearning. You had to relearn how to walk, I had to relearn to love; it's been a hard road for the both of us but having you by my side has certainly made it easier." 

His admission caused Belle to pull away, tears streaming down her face.  
"Oh, sweetheart! I didn't mean to make you cry," Rumple said, wiping her tears with a soft handkerchief. 

"It's okay,” she sniffled. “They're happy tears." Belle hid her face against Rumple's chest. 

A sly grin crept across Rumple's face. "Sweetheart, you have every right to cry happy tears, and I absolutely agree with you—learning to love is way harder than learning to walk. You totally lucked out." 

Belle snorted against Rumple's chest before collapsing into a giggling fit. "You have the uncanniest ability to make me laugh when I'm trying to be emotional, it's as if you're magic or something."

"Oh, I'm definitely something, all right."

Belle smiled. "And what's that?"

"Yours."


End file.
